{"id":1408,"date":"2010-12-30T05:00:17","date_gmt":"2010-12-30T12:00:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fromlaw2grace.com\/?p=1408"},"modified":"2010-12-30T05:00:17","modified_gmt":"2010-12-30T12:00:17","slug":"the-war-death-hit-too-close-to-home","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fromlaw2grace.com\/?p=1408","title":{"rendered":"The War & Death Hit Too Close to Home"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Christmas 2010 was unusually busy.\u00a0 And memorable.\u00a0 After leading two Christmas Eve Candlelight\u00a0Services on Friday night and not getting to sleep until after 1:00 a.m., my oldest son\u00a0thought 6:45 a.m. on Christmas morning\u00a0was the perfect time to start\u00a0opening presents!\u00a0 And, because December 25th fell on a Saturday this year, the day after Christmas was Sunday.\u00a0 While\u00a0some of our church members might have been tempted to miss Sunday services, it would have been a bit strange for their pastor to play hooky.\u00a0 So I didn’t.<\/p>\n

After watching the abysmal first-half of the Denver Broncos\/Houston\u00a0Texans game, I\u00a0traveled to the home of one of our church members to officiate at the wedding of\u00a0her daughter.\u00a0 I came home to watch Tim Tebow lead\u00a0the Denver Broncos to his first 4th Quarter comeback win in Mile High Stadium, no doubt causing fresh break-outs of\u00a0Tebow\u00a0Derangement Syndrome in the likes of\u00a0Mel Kiper<\/a>.\u00a0 What a way to end the long Christmas weekend!\u00a0 Or, so I thought.<\/p>\n

My brother-in-law and I were discussing\u00a0Tebow’s outstanding rookie performance when my cell phone rang.\u00a0 It was about 10:15 p.m.\u00a0 The Caller ID showed that the incoming call was from Gary, my Music and Worship Pastor.\u00a0 As our church office\u00a0would be\u00a0closed on Monday, I thought he was calling to update me on his planned trip to visit his parents in Belen, NM.\u00a0 I so wish that was the reason for his call.\u00a0 Unfortunately, it was not.<\/p>\n

Gary called to tell me that two Marines had just arrived to deliver the news — the news\u00a0that\u00a0too many moms and dads, husbands and wives, sons and daughters have received since the beginning of the Wars in Afghanistan and Iraq — that his son, Garrett, a sergeant in the U.S. Marines, was killed in action in Afghanistan late Sunday night\u00a0(Afghan time)\u00a0while on foot patrol \u00a0(see here<\/a>\u00a0and here<\/a> for news stories covering Garrett’s death).<\/p>\n

As a lawyer-turned-pastor, I am rarely at a loss for words.\u00a0 Sunday night proved to be one of those rare moments.\u00a0 I told Gary that I was so sorry and that I would be over shortly.\u00a0 My wife and I got in the van and began the 10 minute drive to Gary and Susan’s home.\u00a0 On our brief journey, we prayed for God to\u00a0surround the Misener\u00a0family with His love and grace and for God to\u00a0help us comfort\u00a0the family during this incredible time of grief.<\/p>\n

I have been around death all my life.\u00a0 As a kid, I grew up with parents who owned\u00a0and operated a funeral home in the small town of Lake Placid, FL.\u00a0 As an adult, I have\u00a0ministered to hundreds of families during their time of grief by officiating at their loved ones’ funerals.\u00a0 I even gave the eulogy at my own father’s funeral.\u00a0 Being able to minister to folks as they “walk\u00a0through the valley of the shadow of death” has been\u00a0a\u00a0“gift” that God has blessed me with.\u00a0 But,\u00a0exercising that gift is never easy.<\/p>\n

Many pastors have that same gift.\u00a0 But sometimes, in exercising that gift of comfort, we begin to think that we\u00a0know all the “right” things to say to a family who has suffered an unexpected and devastating loss.\u00a0 In our\u00a0zeal to help\u00a0a family\u00a0who is struggling with the death of a loved one, we often want to offer neat and tidy reasons why\u00a0God has “taken” their son or daughter,\u00a0husband or wife,\u00a0dad or mom.\u00a0 But, because we are not God, we simply cannot know — this side of heaven — why God allows people to die when and how they do.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I know.\u00a0 I know.\u00a0 Death is the result of Adam’s sin in the Garden of Eden and the subsequent Fall.\u00a0 Pastors (and others) can know theology and the Bible backwards and forwards, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that we can make it all better by just quoting Scripture.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/p>\n

Now, don’t misunderstand.\u00a0 As a pastor, I believe that\u00a0Scripture is paramount and continues to speak God’s very own Words of comfort to grieving hearts.\u00a0 But, when we are trying to comfort families during their time of grief, it’s often better to let your presence — and not your words — do all the talking, at least at first<\/a>.\u00a0 The ministry of presence and the ministry of the Word are both important, but sometimes a hug — exchanged without any\u00a0words — is\u00a0how God wants us to comfort others during their time of grief.\u00a0<\/p>\n

There will be a time for words — most importantly God’s Words — in the days ahead.\u00a0 Right now is a time for hugs.\u00a0 And for just being there.\u00a0 Don’t\u00a0underestimate the ministry of your presence to someone else.\u00a0 You never know when you will need it in return.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Christmas 2010 was unusually busy.\u00a0 And memorable.\u00a0 After leading two Christmas Eve Candlelight\u00a0Services on Friday night and not getting to sleep until after 1:00 a.m., my oldest son\u00a0thought 6:45 a.m. on Christmas morning\u00a0was the perfect time to start\u00a0opening presents!\u00a0 And, because December 25th fell on a Saturday this year, the day after Christmas was Sunday.\u00a0…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[16,35,1],"tags":[67,78,138,242,294,427,445,527,590,660,761,3392],"class_list":["post-1408","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family","category-religion","category-uncategorized","tag-afghanistan","tag-alamogordo","tag-bethel-baptist-church","tag-comfort","tag-death","tag-garrett-misener","tag-god","tag-iraq","tag-lake-placid","tag-ministry-of-presence","tag-pastors","tag-religion"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1LP7G-mI","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fromlaw2grace.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1408","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fromlaw2grace.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fromlaw2grace.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromlaw2grace.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromlaw2grace.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1408"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fromlaw2grace.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1408\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fromlaw2grace.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1408"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromlaw2grace.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1408"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fromlaw2grace.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1408"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}